What's It All About ...

Memorial Day, also called Decoration Day, is a patriotic holiday in the United States. It is a day to honor Americans who gave their lives for their country. Originally, Memorial Day honored military personnel who died in the Civil War (1861-1865). The holiday now also honors those who died in any war while serving the United States.

Source: The World Book Encyclopedia

The first time I saw my sister place the steaming cup of espresso in front of her toddler, I must admit, I was appalled. After all, aside from the scald factor, there was the unnecessary caffeine dosing of an already hyped-up little boy. However, upon further reflection, I realized that within that cup (which, in reality, contained only a minuscule representation of the remnants of espresso vapor) was held my sister's attempt to pass down to her son the traditions of his ancestors. All the adults in his Italian family share espresso time throughout their day. When his over-seas relatives visit, their day is marked with communal down-time, in which lengthy discourse is shared, laughter is heard, and work is set aside for pleasure.

So, while I may not be breakfasting with my children over a shared pot of hot coffee any time soon, I do intend to search for traditions that I may share with them, that I wish to impart to them, so that one day, they may transition from the children's table to that which the adult table offers - the sense of community, a sense of belonging, a sense of shared traditions. I look around, and I see our culture lacking in these things. Not for lack of ever having it - for lack of preserving it. American heritage is deep with tradition, if one is interested enough to find it and practice it. But we have stepped aside to allow all other facets of this melting pot have their "special day". Traditions make a culture strong, and preserve that which was hard-won in the first place - the right to define oneself through one's values, through a belief system, through that which one holds dear. When we lose traditions, we lose our heritage, our connection to that which made us what we are and brought us to where we are. When we lose traditions, we essentially lose ourselves - and we ultimately lose our future.

Time With My Little Chickadees ...

During some silly time with my Little Bear, I told her she was never a baby - she came from an egg and her mom was actually a chicken. She looked at me very seriously and said, "Oh, please ... Don't tell me you're turning into an evolutionist?"

Bumbleheads, Dolts ... Minions, anyone?

"Any time the economy is bad and people have lost their homes, lost their

401(k)s, they take it out on the incumbents, whether that's fair or unfair."

These are the words of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell in response to Arlen Specter losing his 30-year term in the Senate. Imagine, holding our leaders to a level of expected performance, making them accountable when the country is in trouble, when people who pay their salaries are losing their jobs, their homes, and their savings. How dare we? It is not as though a tenured Senator like Arlen Specter had any role in making legislation that resulted in some of these problems.

Once again, a politician has made a statement that leads one to believe that, although education is mandated throughout this country, and public education has billions of dollars poured down its gullet each year, apparently the populace of this fair land has nary a clue in its collective noggin when it comes time to go to the polls and voice our opinion on who shall lead us.

Bring Back the Good 'Ole Days ...

I took my two babies with me to vote yesterday. It was raining and cold, but we went. I am always surprised when Rocky wants to go with me, versus staying with the older kids at his grandparents' house. Yesterday was one of those days he just decided to accompany me. So off to the firehouse to carry out our civic duty we went.

On the way in, Rocky asked what we were voting for. I told him it was for Congressmen. He said, "Those are the people in Congress, right?" Yes, I said, but how do you know what Congress is? He gave me his usual reply - "I just do." (It is freaky - somehow he does.) He skipped along some more, then asked, "What do these Congressmen do?" Help run the country, I say. Just then, we get to the doors, and he asks, "Do they get to carry swords?" Uh, no, I answer. No swords, not anymore. He enters the building, turns to me, and says, "OOh, too bad".

One less career possibility for my little boy.

One Year Later ...

May 9, 2009

May 9, 2010

Happy Birthday, Emma!

Unpopular ...

In graduate school - as during most of my life - I had the temerity to voice an extremely unpopular opinion during a class on addiction. The professor posited the question, "What is addiction?", and I dared voice my belief that there is a facet of choice involved each time we - individuals with the power of free will - engage in a behavior. Whether it be over-eating, over-spending, drinking, gambling, insert-vice-of-choice-here, every single time we do it, we do it because we choose to do it.

We have become victims of everything. Advertisements lure us into a consumer-driven society, forcing us to work more so we may spend more. Smoking and drinking apparently are social ills that have no known cause, no known remedy - they creep in without warning, and take hold of our lives, allowing us no choice but to visit the local watering holes or frequent the corner liquor stores, stocking our shelves for the inevitable binge that will come upon us. The price of a pack of cigarettes is so exorbitant that some of us need public assistance to deal with our "illness".

My treatise on self-inflicted ills could rage on endlessly. But it would be as pointless as many of the ways society has brilliantly devised to "cope" with its ailments. What the real point is, is, if one were to glance at a timeline of human history, one would quickly notice that many of the people alive today have lived in a very privileged, relatively easy time span in human history. And yet we bemoan our trials as overwhelming, unique, and insurmountable. No.

Living in an impoverished state, wherein military factions control the food supply and we must watch as our children slowly fade before our eyes is insurmountable. Victims of horrible disasters - natural and otherwise - live with unique and overwhelming situations. Having too much money, or choosing to spend what you do have on things like alcohol, drugs, or whatever feeds your addiction is not unique. It is an old story, as old as human history, and at its roots has always been a single cause - ego centrism, the belief that the world is all about you, and only you suffer, and everyone should feel sorry for you.

Today, I began to get overwhelmed at all I need to do and all that is not "right" with my life. My refrigerator broke down following a big grocery shopping. All that food is lost, and the expense is overwhelming right now. But we still have food to eat thanks to the dry goods, and somehow the bill for a new fridge will get paid. It is no reason to fall apart. It is time to give thanks for all that is right - the proximity of stores to refill our stock, the abundance of wholesome foods with which to grow my children, the blessings of electricity to even possess a refrigerator in our home ... the fact that we even have a home to call our own.

I have changed a great deal since the day I raised my hand in that class to give my view of addiction. I still hold that unpopular view. Let's face it, many people make their living off the victimization of a large portion of society. I, however, could never go back to working with that population - my methods of self-help, self-actualization, self-anything go against the grain of current theology. As I get older, I no longer fight my other-way of thinking. It used to embarass me to hold other opinions, see other ways of problem-solving, or just be unable to understand the lack of ... common sense displayed by others. My daily mantra is no longer, Try to fit in, but rather, Be in the world, not of the world, a therapeutic prescription devoid of humanism, with deep roots. Try it sometime. And then go read Nie Nie today, and watch her video. It will certainly cure you if you too are suffering from the Woe is Me today.