Through the years ...

Over the years, I can look at my children's development and temperament and see that they have always been pretty much how they are today. My oldest is a loner, very willing to help out when asked, unmotivated on his own, but polite and kind. My daughter, 10, is driven in all she does. Whether it is the three dance classes she has each week, or the work I give her academically, she seeks to excel. She is a dynamo at cleaning, very organized, and extremely helpful. She is also so intense - too intense, at times. She knows how to have fun, inspires others with games and challenges she creates, and is althletically gifted. But the intensity - at age ten. Oh, my.

Then there is the younger "twin". Not really twins, of course, the 10 & 9 year old have just always been close. They have always been the best of playmates, the best of friends. But, lately, I guess the inherent male/female differences that come between the genders at times have caused a - well, a tiny crack to appear in the surface of the seemingly perfect relationship these two once shared. Where my 10 year-old girl is intense, her 9 year-old brother is not. He is as laid-back as can be without being unconscious. (I believe this is a trait inherited from his father.)
He is disorganized, sloppy, and unmotivated. And all this with a smile on his face, and a lack of concern over these less-than-stellar characteristics. His sister is his competent partner - she will provide for him, and she will look out for him. There is no need to trouble himself with remembering his shoes for tap class when, of course, she will. There is no need to remember where he put his Game-Boy, because she knows where to find it. It was not until recently that I noticed these "assumptions" beginning to bother the older twin. She is no longer doing for him without scolding him for not doing for himself. And she gets annoyed at his laziness. She even made herself a name tag that read, "Hello! My name is "Someone'", because when I ask for "Someone" to help me, it is always assumed she will respond.

My problem with the younger twin is that he is extremely bright. Extremely bright plus unmotivated is troubling to me. I do not push him, at least not yet. I do give him lots of excellent reading material, and allow him to do a great deal of his work orally. (He is a lefty, and a boy, so he has those two strikes against him.) I can allow him greater flexibility because I home-school. I in no way allow him to slack-off academically. I am just biding my time, hoping to allow the natural spark of curiosity to drive him on. I just do not want to push him so that I make him resent academics. Right now, he loves to read and memorize esoteric facts. So, that is what I let him do. This approach has worked before - just read up on some of the most inventive people throughout history. Or just ask the younger twin - he can name them all.