One Week Ago ...

FRIDAY, MAY 15, 2009:

One week ago, today, I went to get our usual Friday night pizza dinner.
One week ago, today, my water broke as I stood up to get out of the car.
One week ago, today, I drove myself to the ER, and told my Mom to take the pizza on home.
One week ago, today, I walked into the ER, barely able to get the words out to the receptionist, and heard her say, "Oh, no ..."
One week ago, today, I lay on a stretcher in the small town ER, ill-equipped to maintain the premature infant I might deliver at any time, awaiting transport to a bigger hospital 45 minutes away.
One week ago, today, I was told the Advanced Life Support ambulance was prepared to deliver the baby en-route.
One week ago, today, I was transported by ALS, in rush-hour traffic, at 70 miles per hour, riding on the rumble strips, in a desperate attempt to get me to the other hospital before the baby came.
One week ago, today, I was told an infection had invaded my uterus, all my amniotic fluid was gone, and there was no way to stave off my baby's premature birth.
One week ago, today, I lay flat on a stretcher, surrounded by a perinatologist, a neonatologist, an obstetrician/surgeon, a nurse practitioner who specializes in neonates, and various residents, all who viewed and reviewed my baby's ultrasound, of diminished quality due to the lack of amniotic fluid. At stake was her "viability", as her gestational age was questionable.
One week ago, today, the difference between 23 weeks and 24 weeks became of utmost importance - the difference between life and death.
One week ago, today, it was determined that my life was at risk if I continued to clot from the placenta that had failed, and was breaking off inside me. Unplugging all monitors and letting me rest, was determined the best course of action in light of the baby's "pre-viability".
One week ago, today, I was told we would listen for a heart beat in the morning, but it was most likely that my little girl would be gone, unable to sustain herself without the sustenance of placenta and fluid that had been her protection until 4 p.m. Friday, May 8, 2009.