Living, laughing, loving ...

I have felt less than inspired to blog lately. Family responsibilities, fatigue, and summer have worn me down. And the world just seems ... too confusing and nonsensical to me, too much to comment on, too much frustration and exasperation to be able to clearly think and expound on any one topic. The kids' birthdays have come and gone - all are officially one year older and wiser. The little darling in the photo is crawling everywhere, pulling herself up, babbling like a brook ... She is an amazing specimen of strength, courage, conviction, prayer, faith, and a bit of Western medical technology mixed in. She is soooo happy, laughing and loving life, an example to me of unbounded joy. Two of my children possess this gift of laughter that I can only envy - laughter that comes from somewhere deep inside of them, an endless well that bubbles to the surface each and every day, spreading its warmth over those blessed enough to be in its presence. They love without reserve, my youngest son almost toppling the recipient of his embraces with his sheer joy. From where did they learn this? Not from me. I catch myself often frowning, my default expression it would seem. And yet, I have in my possession a photograph from my own childhood, taken on picture day for Little League. I am the only one who is disheveled, uniform untucked, hat slightly askew - yet the only one smiling. At some point in life, I, too, possessed the well of laughter and enjoyment of life. At what point I lost it I cannot tell ... but it can not be completely gone for I believe if it were, the laughter of my children would not exact such a response in me as it does, a response that warms my soul, that keeps me going on the path less traveled, sometimes trampled upon by life because it is the less traveled, less acceptable way of living. If it were not for the smiles and the laughter and the brightness of their eyes as they twinkle, slightly mischievously in my son's case - well, I can honestly say, there would not be much to this whole living thing for me.