Seriously?

I took Emma to the pediatrician for her 18 month check-up today. After the usual questioning regarding my beliefs on vaccinations, and have I changed my mind yet (read: come to my senses regarding allowing her to be vaccinated against Hep A), the doctor informs me that she was turned down by my insurance company for the Synagis vaccine. Now this vaccine is - as has been explained to me - critical for infants, especially preemies, during the winter months. It protects them from complications of RSV. In babies with compromised pulmonary function, it is especially crucial. It is extremely expensive. But the alternative - hospitalization - is more expensive.

The irony of this situation is, when Emma was still in the NICU, I expressed my concerns about introducing vaccines into her body when 1. she was just recovering from NEC; 2. gestationally, she was technically not even at full-term yet. I was told in no uncertain terms that they would not allow me to even delay her vaccines by more than a few days, and that I was jeopardizing her health by even considering doing so. The doctors did what they wanted to regarding vaccinating her, and I was left feeling somewhere between angry and embarrassed.

Why is it alright for a third-party to decide my daughter does not receive a medication, but, when I make a decision concerning her health care, I may be threatened with social services? I am the parent. If she gets sick, it is I who must take care of her, and it is I who will take responsibility for those risks. It means nothing to the unknown individual who turned her down for the vaccine. Their decision was not born of careful consideration, education, and prayer concerning the issue. When did their decision begin to assume more weight than my own?

I have asked this question before, but it begs repeating: If public schools are so wonderful that I have to justify educating my children in another manner, why then do graduates of the public school system get treated as if they lack the mental ability to make decisions for their own family? What are we really saying about the perception of the average citizen in this country? We need others to think for us, and we can not be trusted to know what is "best" for ourselves or our families. I am so tired of being talked down to, of being told that others know my needs better than I do, and I need to ask permission to parent my own children. Emma's doctor actually used this as an opportunity to glorify the need of socialized medicine so that I needn't encounter these trials anymore. Seriously? This is all going to go away when the government does all my thinking for me? Please, it is only going to get worse. I really need to find a new pediatrician.