At a Safe Distance ...

We spent the morning listening to "At the Back of the North Wind", and working on Draw Squad projects. I also made pizza and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, while the little ones watched Leave It to Beaver on NetFlix. And now, while I nurse my two fingers that I happened to burn while removing the warm cookies from the still-very-hot baking sheet, I took some time to visit some of the blogs that I only allow myself once in a while. These are the blogs where there has been a loss - namely the loss of a child. And the hurt is there, despite the time that has lapsed. And the hurt is deep, and tangible, and painful to the reader. Yet, I visit because I need to - and because I hope to sense that there is healing going on, while at the same time I wonder how one can ever heal from such a wound. And from a safe distance, I am almost grateful it is them - the stranger in internet-space - and not me, although I know it could, and does, happen to anyone. I want to ask them how they go on, how they get up in the morning after the first fog of sleepiness lifts, and the reality - all too new and fresh - once again hits. I want to ask them how they manage to shake the dreams in which the child is so real, so alive. I want to ask - but I do not. But while I do not, I want to say to those Moms, I am so sorry for your loss and your pain - and the stories of your children's lives have touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing, because in that sharing has come a renewed sense of how truly blessed I am. And when I kiss my children tonight, and tuck them in, I will be thinking of you, and the child you once held, and kissed goodnight. And then I will give my little one yet another kiss in memory of your little one.