Are you the type to do something just because it is allowed? What I mean is, do you think about whether or not something is desirable for your family, even necessary, or do you just go forth and do because, well, hey, everyone is doing it? Today, my brother offered to teach my son to drive because, well, he is now 17. And in this state, at 16 you may obtain a learner's permit. Now, while I do appreciate the offer, I felt a bit defensive in that I have thought long and hard about my son's readiness for this responsibility. Let me first say, in my opinion, 16-year-olds are too immature and irresponsible by nature to drive. Cell phones, radios, and friends - as well as a lack of appreciation for the privilege of being entrusted to guide a multi-ton vehicle through the streets of a community - compound my concerns. But I do not make the laws. However, for my family, I do. So, I decided to hold off on this particular right-of-passage until I saw signs of maturity elsewhere in his life. Now this son is quite mature is some regards. And yet there are qualities that are lacking. I do not feel he is focused enough, in a general sense. Just by virtue of his attaining some magic number as stipulated by the Department of Motor Vehicles, my apprehensions have not disappeared. My concerns over this particular privilege taking precedence in his life - at a time when he needs to focus on academics and preparing himself for life beyond high school - I believe are valid. Yes, he will need to learn how to drive. And, yes, that is part of the preparation for life. But, for now, it is not a necessity. And just because the law says "It's time", does not mean Mom says, "It's the right time". Goodness, if I lived my life based on the need to be one of the masses - living by the schedule as dictated by teachers' unions, the PTA, or "the experts" one can see on T.V., all of whom, of course, know what is best for each one of us -I most certainly would not be homeschooling. Nor would I teach my children Latin, eschew television, or be living on one income in a modest house. Keeping up with the Jones is not the game plan I have for my life. I do not care what the Jones' are doing. Decisions for myself and my family are not made lightly - a burden that, at times, makes life a bit more difficult, but does have its rewards.
Tonight, the twins made up a play in which they appear to be arguing in a foreign tongue, but are really reciting the Pater Noster. It was quite amusing, very entertaining, and ... well, odd. But only because I still have the voices of ghosts from my past, labeling me as odd and unusual, the non-conformist who only felt weird when she tried to fit in. So I let them be weird, I encourage their unusual ways, and congratulate them on their unique perspectives. And, as I get older, I am more comfortable with not making decisions just because it is the acceptable way of doing things. It has taken me almost forty years, but I finally realize a party of one can still enjoy the show.
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