So ...

...considering all the fluid build-up in the baby, I asked the nurse what I thought to be a logical question: "How is her heart?" White noise, silence on the other end of the phone, embarrassment on my part - "Oh, my, I must have asked a dumb question!" Self-deprecation begins, my face is getting flushed, my mind races as I check my inventory of stored knowledge re: Human Anatomy and Physiology 101, the inner sanctums of the heart ...

It was not a dumb question. The nurse could have acknowledged that she just did not realize the trajectory my thoughts were taking from Point A to Point infinity ... But I was the one apologizing, offering up my lack of sleep as the source of my "confusion" and "babble". In reality, there was no confusion, nor was there any babble. (At least, not until the nurse's silence led me to believe my question was somehow "stupid".)

Once again, she is simply not "my baby" right now - at least, not as much as she is theirs. Its been seven weeks, with at least as many to come. So I must play the part of the ignoramus, keep my mouth shut, head down low, until this time passes and we are out of the forest-of-good -and-a-heck-of-a-lot-of-evil.