Hope Restored ...

Friday was a big meeting with the doctors and therapists caring for Emma. I prepared as if going to trial, ready to defend my daughter's worth, prove her capacity for healing, plead for another chance ... However, it was unnecessary. The dire prognosis bestowed upon her just a few days' prior was apparently unfounded. An apology was issued by the surgeon who shares a much more optimistic outlook of Emma's future. The prognosis was given by a doctor who really was unfamiliar with Emma - and only knew "NEC 4x" to be indicative of failure to feed. It was then shared by two other doctors who jumped on the bandwagon, so to speak, and in doing so crushed the spirit, hope, and faith of this mother. Thankfully, I recovered on all accounts. The team we met with was optimistic that, despite this set-back, Emma will eventually recover and be on her way to full-feeds once again. The surgeon believes there is probably an isolated area of tissue that is diseased and will need to be removed. However, finding that area is not a simple task. He wants to explore her intestines, via a laparoscopic procedure. This is the lesser of two evils presented to us, as the other option involves removing her intestines, laying them out, and investigating. Either way, the reality is, the damage could be within the intestinal wall, and therefore hidden from view. So, as of this moment, surgery, while a very real and probably completely necessary option, is not definite. What is definite is that Emma is alert, her belly is (radiographically) improved, and she has once again weathered a bout of NEC without requiring any respiratory support. I have many more gray hairs, but ... when she lays against me, in the little niche between my chin and my shoulder, and I marvel at how the fit is like a puzzle coming together, it is all worth it - the driving, the worrying, the pain of the unknown. She will join us, she will take her place among our family, she will be here everyday, and I will no longer need to ask a nurse, "How was Emma's day?". Because her day will be with me, and with the other children ... and I will know how it was ... because it will be here, in our home.